“An astonishing act of impudence and unsportsmanlike conduct!”
— The New York Times

“Zidane’s moment of madness!!”
– Soccernet

“Probably one of the greatest retirements I’ve ever seen!”
– Deadspin

“The ugliest act of a tournament that set records for yellow and red cards, diving and, at times, outright brutality!”
– AP

“Really bizzare!!!!!”
– Foxsoccer.com

“An absolutely sickening display!”
– USA Today

“Mais Pourquoi? Mais Pourquoi?”
– French Television Announcer

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Robert Risko/New Yorker

Look, I’m not a theater guy. I know that the theater is wonderful, etc., etc.; it’s just that I’d rather rent a movie. I must be poor, lazy, uncultured, or some combination of the three.

But the one Broadway show I have managed to catch recently is the amazingly reconceived Sweeney Todd. It’s the kind of production you don’t want to miss, even if you’re not a theater guy. And it is a minor crime that it did not win the Tony Award for Best Musical Revival tonight.

If you haven’t heard about this revival, here’s what you need to know: the entire play takes place on one set. No one ever leaves the stage. There is no orchestra; or, rather, the actors are also the orchestra; for, in addition to playing their parts, they play violins, pianos, snare drums, trumpets, and tubas. Many actors play multiple instruments. And sing. And move furniture. And slit throats with razors.

I have no doubt that “The Pajama Game” is a fine, fine show; certainly, it must be a bewitching showcase for Harry Connick Jr.’s gleaming teeth. But it could not have been better than this brilliant, minimalist version of “Sweeney Todd.”

See it if you have a chance.

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