Ok… if I get my cousin to meet me at the hotel at the edge of town, I can probably get at least as far as Kentucky by daybreak. I know I can hitch a ride there to Louisiana… no, then I’ll have to go through Texas, they know me there. And shit, Florida’s out. Oh! I’ll cut west through Oklahoma, then down to the border through Arizona or New Mexico, and then I’m fucking free.
I just hope I have time to transfer all the cash to one of those Swiss accounts…

I’ll take two cute furry kittys with tartar sauce and a large Diet Coke. Last time I came you forgot the tartar sauce, so don’t make me go to the papers.

When I tried to get my Prison Bitch Name, it came up as “Goo Gobbler,” which was very disappointing. Libby’s are much better: Lewis Libby is “The Wanker.” Irving Libby is “Deep Throat,” and Scooter is”Liberace.” He’s going to have so much more fun in prison than I am. Dammit.

“They know I can’t move a finger and I want to just sit here and be quiet just in case they suspect me. They’re probably watching me. Well, let them. Let them see what kind of a person I am. I’m not even going to swat that fly. I hope they are watching… they’ll see. They’ll see and they’ll know, and they’ll say, “Why, he wouldn’t even harm a fly…”

Gotta relieve this stress somehow. I know! Tonight I’ll make Gannon wear the tutu and the ball gag, and I’ll do the buttfucking for a change.

“I am a bag of vomit. Also, I am evil. And I drown puppies.”

Wonder what Jeff Gannon is up to tonight? Sure could use a butch marine to work me over.

Oh, I’m afraid the deflector shield will be fully operational when your friends arrive…