So you’re telling me I only get one pony?

Hey, you want to sniff Saddam’s finger…be my guest. But I warn you, the only action its seen has been on the outer rim of my ass.

I was gonna do my beard too but I ran out of Grecian formula…

I want Alan Shore as my attorney.

Pull my finger.

Give-me-a-fucking-razor.

Who you calling “Beardo,” baldy?

I’m ready to probe George Bush’s prostate.

Chicago White Sox baby! Number one for-evah!

One for every day Matt left us Caption-less:

A six week extension … well, whoop-tee-doo.

Hey! Cold beer here!

I’m telling you you’ve got the wrong guy, my name is Toulouse-Lautrec.

Chalabi, I’ve got more charisma in this finger than you’ve got in your whole body.

C’mon, let’s give Harriet one test case before the confirmation hearing.

When I want advice about which countries to attack, there’s a higher Father that I appeal to.

Did I vote …do you see any purple?

And one for good measure:

I’ll take one yard of the orange fabric and a metal file.

I said, ONE Big Mac, and TWO orders of fries!

Yes, I’m a Grumpy Old Man - No, I did not star in the movie!

Officer, I know I was speeding, but if I get one more ticket I’m going to lose my license.

Tell Tom Delay the ink *does* wash off.

It is most important that I find Frodo Baggins. Why do you detain me? The fate of Middle Earth is at stake! What have you done with my hat?

As my hero richard Nixon said,”I am not a crook.” Now get me the hell out of here and into an Armani suit to my house with 40 wives right away!

NOOO.. I want ONE budlight.