“Should I flip Condi the bird?”

Rice declares Kyrgyzstan’s Star Wars inspired “Millennium Challenge Falcon” entry the winner of this year’s Central Asian foreign aid mascot competition.

Condi: “And now that this giant pigeon or whatever it is has taken a huge dump on my host’s head, I will stick my thumb right up its ass.”

While Condi claims to have seen better birds, she is quite amused by the Kurdistanian Condom Cap.

Kyrgyz Falconer: Lady, he poop on you shoe!

Condi: Not on my Ferragamos! You can forget about that aid package.

I gave up shoe shopping for this?

Miss Condi! Welcome! Tonight I would like the pleasure of your company, along with my bird & hat, as we dine on the finest baked confections my country can offer.