Parse This: Bill Bennett
George W. Bush and Bill Bennett in happier timesConservative pundits often say mean things, but seldom do they go so far as to say what they really mean.
At rare moments, however, the mask of civility slips off, and the public is offered a glimpse of the ghastly, pock-marked face that lies beneath the smooth surface of the conservative movement.
Then the mask is quickly put back in place, and followed up with countless photo-ops and explanations of what the pundit really meant to say.
That is exactly what happened a few days ago, when former Republican Education Secretary Bill Bennett suggested on his radio show that America would be a safer place if all black babies in this country were aborted. And I quote:
Who ever said conservatives weren’t compassionate?
Bennett’s statement, which he now says was hypothetical (or, to use his own language, “a thought experiment about public policy”), is so clear, and so forthright, that it needs no parsing.
That, at least, is what I thought when I first read it. But I see that my new friends on The Corner would disagree with me — Jonah Goldberg calls this “a silly, manufactured, attack on Bennett. Maybe he could have phrased it differently, but the point he made is rational . . .”
Of course, the rationality of the point depends on what your definition of “rational” is. Personally, I don’t think that conducting involuntary mass abortions on the basis of race is a very rational solution to the problem of crime in this country, but what do I know — I’m just one of those kooky bloggers, not a former U.S. Secretary of Education with a nationally syndicated radio show and a “philosophy professor’s hat.”
At any rate, though the import of Bennett’s words are clear to most of us, the spin he uncorked after a controversy broke out is a little bit harder to follow.
In fact, it is so convoluted that it has sparked the return of the hottest craze sweeping the nation. Yes, my friends, I speak of Parse This!™, an exciting game of literary exegesis in which contestants attempt to unpack the opaque utterances of public figures.

Now, before I reveal today’s quote, allow me to set the stage: Bill Bennett has just been accused of uttering bizarre and racist statements. The President’s spokesperson has said that George W. Bush “believes the comments were not appropriate.” But Fox News gives Bennett a chance to appear on Hannity and Colmes in order to explain himself and put his words “in context.”
And this is what he said:
I feel like Bennett is saying something here, but I have no idea what it is. Can you help out? Please, Parse This™!

