I may have to side with the President on this one.
Studies have shown that the pull-out method is ineffective:
But in the heat of the moment many men are unable to pull out before they shoot their load. And even if they do manage to abort takeoff before firing the rocket, you can still get pregnant.
[source (nws)]
Indeed. I think it’s safe to say that Iraq has already seen our rockets’ red glare.
So what other options do we have?
It’s way too late for abstinence. Protection? Well, you go to war with the protection you have. It was only when blood began rushing to and from his hummer that Bush realized he forgot the Trojans.
So maybe he’s right: sticking around to shoot his load is the gentlemanly thing to do.
After all, it would be pretty rude to leave Iraq in mid-screw.
8 Comments on "POTUS Interruptus"
Kate:
OMG, Matt, that is too fricking brilliant. You go, man!
Thom H:
If he’s hanging around waiting for that oil to start flowing, might be there w/ his drawers down for some time. Thus far, all we’re getting gas on the backend in the form of progress reports.
Agi T. Prop:
We certainly don’t want to leave Iraq in mid-screw. We might as well finish the job and allow our plans (or lack thereof) to come to fruition. After all, we’ve collectively downed about 40 Viagras so it’s the manly thing to do.
Neil Shakespeare:
LOLOL! GREAT POST! George W. Bush: The Gift That Just Keeps On Coming…and Coming…and Coming and…
Rod:
But what if we get it pregnant?
cookie:
We’re gonna be sinking billions into this mess for years to come. No abortions allowed here, we’re stuck with this baby for several more years. Of course the rich lying bureaucrats that got us into this have also given themselves boatloads of tax cuts, so they won’t be the ones paying for it. Nope-si-dopesi. It’s me and you and our future generations that are gonna have to foot this bill.
Rod:
maybe we could put it up for adoption, or leave it on somebody’s doorstep and run away.
JLo:
Way to go there, Mr. Sassmaster. Reminiscent of the old bumper sticker: “Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.”
Comments