*&$# you, you *&^%$#@-ing %$#@@!

I mean, the art of diplomacy is a delicate balance of tact and assertiveness, carrot and stick, in an ever-changing political environment where one’s quote unquote Weltanschauung must constantly remain flexible and subject to revision.

Oh, and &%$#@ you, too.

Give me a *&^%-ing job, bitch.

The fine art of smoking two joints at a time takes years and years of practice.

“Ah-Ha! None of your antics amounted to anything but wasted breath. See you all when you’re in NYC!”

Good one, ALa. By the way, Bolton’s going to need to hire staff quickly. Would you be interested in working for him?

And now I will imitate the plaintive cries of all the underlings whose careers I’ve destroyed for disagreeing with me.

I will tell you one last time, “I will not braid my nose hair!”

“One hand indicates the depth of my personality, the other the enormity of my competence. That’s as good as it gets in this administration so what are you bitching about?”

“It’s called ‘Tune In Tokyo.’ Get it, Senator? Get it?”

I cannot be more specific than this: the moustache has to stay in order that I might continue my lucrative second career in the adult film industry on the weekends. Any attempt to influence the continuance or curtailment of my facial hair would constitute an unfair restraint of trade.

This is how much credibility I have in the eyes of my new colleagues.

…and if you tweak the nipples like so, you really do get quite a pleasant sensation, especially if said nipples are first drizzled with bourbon and cocaine…

If you look very closely, you can see the fine line I’m walking. Whaddya mean where? It’s right between my fingers! Oh, has my garish tie blinded you. My apologies.

AND I ONLY STRETCH TRUTH A IDDY BIDDY BIT!!

“I’LL SHOW YOU THE LIFE OF THE MIND.”

my balls are this big