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Parse This: Tom Cruise

Posted By Matt On 24th June 2005 @ 14:06 In Parse This | 4 Comments

Once again, it’s time to play America’s fastest-growing reading-comprehension game.

Today, we tackle the prose of an intellectual giant, a man whose knowledge knows no bounds, or boundaries. A man whose quick and toothy grin shrouds the mind of a scholar, the wit of a litterateur, and the instincts of a philosopher. In short, a genius of the super-celebrity kind.

So put on your parsing chapeau, and let’s

‘’You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do.'’

– Tom Cruise to Matt Lauer, The Today Show, 6/24/05 (source)

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4 Comments To "Parse This: Tom Cruise"

#1 Comment By Rod On 24th June 2005 @ 14:25

Because I have bats in my belfry.

#2 Comment By Betty On 24th June 2005 @ 15:17

…because I went to pretend medical school to play a doctor in “Eyes Wide Shut.” I like to pretend.

#3 Comment By Suzy Shedd On 24th June 2005 @ 18:41

…because I have exhibited EVERY SINGLE morbid mental process ever posited and been cured of EVERY ONE. No drugs; they’ve got vitamins for that. And I’m STRAIGHT, too — whoo-hoo!

#4 Comment By Blonde Genes On 4th July 2005 @ 23:53

All knowing high school dropout, Tom Cruise, says we don’t know the history of psychiatry, he does, but apparently, he does not know that Scientology involves the strong belief in aliens? Guess he was just too busy reading the history of psychiatry that he missed that particular Scientology session.
Oh, yes, and by the way Tom,,,,we are against psychiatry, because,,well, you see,,,Scientology is based on everything about aliens.

Tom Cruise denies that Scientology involves belief in aliens;
http://atheism.about.com/b/a/180257.htm

“I’m pretty sure that Cruise is far enough along in his Scientology training to have been made aware of Xenu and all the nutty alien stuff, so why would he not be honest about Scientology’s beliefs? ”

He’s got Katie on a pretty short leash and she’s always having to hunch over to accomodate his shortness. It won’t last long,,,a girl can only go so long without wearing high heels, you know.

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