Okay, I’m an Eagles fan and all, but if I hear “Fly Eagles Fly” one more time today, I’m going to throw up.
E - A - G - L - E - S
EAGLES!!!
Sorry–that one slipped out.
The local news stations have been having a field day with the Super Bowl. Here is a breakdown of tonight’s Channel 6 Action News 5 o’clock broadcast:
0:00-0:05 - Bad brass-heavy theme music.
0:06-0:10 - Anchor talks about Eagles mania, and sends it down to “our team in Jacksonville.”
0:11-5:00 - Shots of Eagles fans arriving in Jackson. Shots of Eagles fans singing “Fly Eagles Fly” in Jacksonville. Shots of Eagles fans screaming incoherently at the camera in Jacksonville. Shots of Eagles fans singing “Fly Eagles Fly” in Jacksonville. Shots of Eagles fans singing “Fly Eagles Fly” in Philadelphia.
5:01-7:00 - Commercial Break. 70% of the commercials involve local car dealerships flying the Eagles green.
7:01-10:00 - Shots of local catholic schoolchildren at an assembly, singing “Fly Eagles Fly.” Shot of a nun singing “Fly Eagles Fly” (I’m not kidding–she was fierce).
10:01-12:00 - “Our Man” Irving Fryar interviews T.O. and asks him what he was trying to say when he talked about God healing him in time for the game. T.O. says that he was just trying to say that God healed him in time for the game.
12:01-15:00 - Commercial Break. 70% of the commercials involve groundhogs holding lottery tickets (don’t ask).
15:01-18:00 - Weather report for Jacksonville this weekend.
18:01-18:15 - Weather report for Philly this weekend.
18:16-25:00 - Back to our guys in Jacksonville.
25:01-26:00 - Awkward Anchor Banter about our guys in Jacksonville.
26:01-29:00 - Commercial Break.
29:01-30:00 - Shots of a pep rally at a local school. Children hold sheet music and sing “Fly Eagles Fly.”
There you have it, in all of its tawdry glory. I have never seen a city this excited about a sports team. It’s irresistable. I love this dirty town.
Fly, Eagles, Fly!
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